Ever since I was young, when I was depressed, melancholy, lonely, or bored I would pick up a pen and write in a journal. It started when I was 11 writing in my blue diary (that had a lock on it that I used to have on braided purple embroidery thread in a grape lip-gloss container hidden in my desk drawer). After that I graduated to less private notebooks, realizing that what I had to write about was of no interest to anyone else. I thought that a blog would be a natural next step. Ha! How wrong I was. What I have to write about is still of no interest to anyone else, but I don't want to broadcast my inner thoughts to the world.
I've had quite a few journals over the years. Reading them years after writing them I found a recurring theme - extremes of my personality. I would never write when I was having a normal day. I would only write if I was pissed off, inconsolably sad, or shaking-out-of-my-boots happy. Mom gave me a notebook for my New Zealand trip. I used it for planning and I used it for writing while in the airports en route, then I forgot all about it in Fiji, but caught up writing when I sat in a cafe in Auckland during our first days here. Since then this notebook has been filled mostly with recipes, shopping lists, and directions of hotels and hostels in places other than Auckland.
Which brings me, in the most roundabout of ways, to upcoming events. Another side note - I've been slightly (okay, more than slightly) melancholy... I have even thrown around the word "depressed" to describe how I've been feeling the last few months. Friends reckon I should go back to Canada for a vacation... I just can't bring myself to do it when I've still got a bunch of New Zealand to see. In any case, in two weeks I'll be traveling to Australia so I will hopefully snap out of my melancholy state.
Things we're up to in the next 2 months:
- Touch football/rugby season has now started for us! Yay!
- October 1 we will be going to the Transmission Room for a taping of the TV news-comedy show "7 Days."
- Friends are coming to visit next week!
- Traveling around the country!
- Pearl Jam/Ben Harper/Liam Finn concert!
Travis and I have also started organizing a driving trip around the North Island in November when his parents come to visit. It's a whirlwind of a trip, but it should be fun. There are quite a few places in the North Island we haven't visited yet, and we'd like to hit a few of them in November when the weather's gettin' good!
There's another trip that we're planning. For when? We don't know. A Kayaking trip in the Marlborough Sounds! All we know is that we want to kayak - Marlborough may be the area, but we might also head over to Nelson and hit up Abel Tasman National Park. Haven't decided yet. Of course, there will be a wine tour, if there's time.
Just made myself a gin and tonic for the evening... it's possibly the best G&T I've ever had. 4 ice cubes, squirt of lime juice, 1oz Beefeater, 4.5 oz tonic water in a wine glass. JUST RIGHT! Refreshing!
So, back to why I haven't written and only posted videos in the last 2 months (which is what that drivel I started off this post was about) is because I haven't done anything. I did get out of the city once in August and once in September (out of the "city" but not out of the Auckland district). I've become a recluse, slightly depressed, and scared to go anywhere. Moping? No. Sobbing? Yes. Why? Who knows. It feels almost like when I was in my last year of University... what I called "Crying Wednesday." During my final term at the U of Lethbridge I only had classes on Tuesday/Thursday/Friday morning... Monday I had a radio meeting so I was out and about interacting with human beings... but Wednesday I didn't have any plans until 10pm when I did my radio show at CKUL (now CKXU). Alone. For weeks on end, Wednesdays were my days to stay at home to do research for my classes. Never once did I think that I should get out of my apartment. At approximately 6pm on these Wednesdays I would get this feeling of doom and call up friends on the phone. If I didn't get ahold of anyone, I would start sputtering and be inconsolable. Sometimes I'd even cry on the phone if I DID get someone on the phone. Then, once someone said, "Come over to my house! Don't be sad and lonely!" So I did, and I didn't have crying Wednesdays anymore - until last year when I started working at home by myself again. It turned into Crying Tuesdays and Crying Wednesdays. Lately it's just been "Crying Whenever." But, the doctor gave me a tip - exercise in the morning. So, I've started doing that and I dig it! Yay Me! I'm sure no one needed to know that - but whatever. I'm trying to get over it, it's not a big deal, and if I'm feeling a bit blue, I try to talk to someone. It might even be YOU!
Okay, enough sad sack crap.
Travis and I did go to a League match a few weeks ago (rugby league - different than that OTHER rugby) and the Warriors lost dreadfully (30-0), which, unfortunately was to be expected, but it was our last opportunity to see a league game because the next season doesn't start until next March, and we probably won't be in New Zealand next March. WHEW!
Hopefully I will have much more interesting things to write about in the upcoming weeks - both for the blog AND in my journal notebook.